The Devil’s Details: The Tragedy of a Wasted Imagination

Imagination is an exceptionally powerful thing. It is how we decide; how we play; how we learn. Even those of us who would claim to suffer from a poor imagination nonetheless exercise it on a daily basis: if you’re trying to decide which way to go home, you are essentially imagining which way is going to be best.

But sadly, the imagination often stops at these limited, practical uses. As children, our imaginations were with us. Our companion, our best friend, our life outside of life, imagination was the key that unlocked doors to a world more real and infinite than our own.* And as we grow older, and our lives become overwhelmed by those practical things, our imagination dwindles. We can console ourselves that we still read, that we watch thoughtful and engaging television, but that is really a poor substitute.

This is not to say that we have to act like children (well Einstein did, but look where he got us). All it really takes is a willingness to stop, to think, and to look beyond the surface.

I’m as guilty of this as anybody. I recently shared some photos of gravestones I took. This was one of my favorites:

grave-of-michael-popeI took the picture because I thought the gravestone looked interesting. I was caught by the flowers, and so I took the snap. For a while, it was my favorite simply because of the composition, the way that the image lent itself to colorized black and white, and the hint of further graves behind.

And then, after I’d been working on this picture for some time, I actually stopped to read the epitaph. It reads:

POPE

MICHAEL A. POPE

1918 — 1993

ETERNAL REST

And then I started thinking about what this meant. The remains of a man lay beneath this stone. That man’s name was Michael; perhaps he went by Mike. Mike was a boy, once; his childhood might have been good, or it might have been terrible: he was eleven when the stock market crashed and threw the world into one of the worst economic depressions the world has ever seen.

Mike was twenty-one when World War II began; it’s likely he was drafted to fight. There is quite the possibility that Mike has killed people. How did that affect him for the rest of his life?

Mike knew someone else in his family; another Michael Pope – perhaps his father. Mike was thirty-four when this Michael died. This Michael himself was an astonishing ninety-four when he died. Think how incredible that is; when Michael Pope Sr. was ten, there was no such thing as radio. When he died, there was color TV, rock music, two wars whose tragic repercussions lasted long beyond his own life; there were even prototypical computers, though he might never have heard of them.

Our Mike was only seventy-five when he died in 1993. That’s not young, but it’s not old. Why didn’t he live as long as his father? Did he contract pneumonia? Did he suffer from dementia, or alzheimer’s disease? Perhaps he simply fell of a ladder. At some point, Mike took a final breath, and never breathed again. Who was with him when that happened? Maybe he knew his death was coming; maybe he never got to say goodbye to his family.

Of course, Mike might never have had any further family; there are no other Popes interred here. But there is one thing that feels certain: someone loved him very, very much. Someone loved him enough to commemorate him with a black marble gravestone. Someone who, twenty years later, still visits his grave to leave flowers.

 

* Children these days suffer from a world that stifles the growth of their own imagination. For your children’s sakes, don’t let them while away their childhood with video games and television; from time to time, send them outside with a stick.

Daily Photo: March 7, 2007

The beauty of dying flowers…

The beauty of dying flowers…

I came downstairs one morning to find the lighting in the living room particularly evocative; our aging tulips just looked gorgeous…

 

Camera: Sony DSC-P10          ISO: 100          Aperture: ƒ/2.8          Shutter speed: 1/200

Thought of the Week: Not Writing

pen-and-paper

I had quite a hard time thinking about what to write this week, so I thought I’d write about not writing instead.

I have now not written for The Redemption of Erâth for two weeks, which is not something I feel happy about. I have not written a movie night post in the same period of time, though we watched Hogfather recently and very, very much enjoyed it. I very nearly did not write this post tonight.

The truth is, I’ve been in a bit of a bad place for the past few weeks. Some nights I didn’t want to go to bed, because I didn’t want to wake up the next morning. I’ve eaten far too many bowls of Cheerios, too, and even forgot to brush my teeth one night. I had two glasses of wine and a finger of rum a few days ago, and wow – my sleep pattern was all kinds of messed up.

Completely psychotic sleep.

Completely psychotic sleep.

In fact, sleep has been one of the things getting me down. I’m not going to debate cause and effect, but ever since I got my UP band and was able to track my sleep patterns, I’ve felt worse – more tired, less energy – than ever before. Some nights I’ve had as few as 5 hours of sleep, despite being in bed for almost 7 hours. The weird thing is that I usually fall asleep quickly, but wake up often through the night. Sometimes I actually think the band is just picking up my violent thrashing and bashing and thinking I’m awake, but I suppose the result is the same either way; if I’m active enough to seem awake, I might as well be awake for all the rest I’m getting.

It ends up being very hard to write when you question doing anything at all.

Like gods of the sunI’m playing through every My Dying Bride album in the car – one album each day – in an effort to match my mood (damn, their music is good bad mood music). I actually did pretty well tonight; Like Gods of the Sun kept me going until I got home, and I didn’t really fall asleep at the wheel either. I’ve been experimenting with music and sleep, as well; I usually listen to music through earphones in bed as I doze off, since for as long as I can remember it was always a way to soothe myself to sleep. It turns out, thanks to my UP band, that listening to music actually delays my sleep, especially since I eventually wake up to pause the music and take the earphones out. That sucks, because I really, really miss listening to music as I go to sleep.

It ends up being very hard to write when you get to the point of questioning the value of doing anything at all. By the time 10:00 PM rolls around all I want to do is crawl into bed, which of course gives me no writing time at all. I miss Brandyé, and thought I want to know where he’s going next, I just can’t bring myself to go back to him. I worry about this, because I know that the longer I leave the story alone, the harder it will be to get back to it.

The funny thing is that cutting back on writing to focus on sleep hasn’t made me feel better; all it’s really highlighted to me is that I really suck at getting enough sleep. I’m still waiting for the ‘official’ results from my polysomnography, but until then it’s sweet dreams with a rubber ring on my wrist.

At least I got this out – that’s a start! Thanks for bearing with me, guys; I’ll be back in full soon. Trust me?