Thought of the Week: Untitled

I’ve tried to write a Thought of the Week post three times now, and been completely unable to think of anything to write. I even took a picture of my glowing spider friend, but I can’t think of anything to say about him, either:

Glowing Spider

Poor little guy.

I started thinking about what ‘Thought of the Week’ actually means, and realized that perhaps the problem is that I’m not having any thoughts. (I might have had one the other day, but I could be mistaken.) Within the space of an entire week, I’m not entirely certain I’ve thought about anything at all.

What did I do this week? Painted furniture, threw a temper tantrum, braided my hair and my wife’s to match, bought a new album on iTunes, copied two seasons of Borgen onto my computer that I’ll probably never watch…but I don’t think I did any thinking. Or if I did, it didn’t stick. The problem with my ongoing depression is that not much bothers or concerns me, and so I tend not to get upset about things. Have you noticed how many blog posts and articles there are about people getting upset? The right gets upset when the left marries gays, the left gets upset when the right shoots bad guys. Creationists get upset by Neil DeGrasse Tyson, and everyone gets upset when someone dies in Game of Thrones.

Am I the only person who kind of, well…doesn’t care? I’d much rather spend my time writing about Brandyé, or dissolving my brain playing some ridiculous game on my iPhone.

Looking back through my past Thought of the Week posts, it seems to me that once upon a time I noticed things. I noticed them, thought about them, and wrote about them. What have I noticed this week?

  • A dead deer on the side of the road.
  • One of our groundhog babies is particularly adventurous.
  • I’m not looking forward to moving houses.
  • There are lots of coffee cup stains on my desk.

That is all.

What’s wrong with me? I used to notice all sorts of little things; I even had a blog series dedicated to it. Now, almost nothing is retained long enough to form a coherent thought. It’s as if my brain is just simply shutting down. I’m almost afraid that soon, I won’t be able to write even a few words in a blog post, on any particular topic at all – even the topic of not being able to come up with topics.

Wait a minute…did I just have a thought?

Featured image from http://primarynotes29.blogspot.com/2014/04/im-thinking-about.html.

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Thought of the Week: Depression Is…

It’s been quite some time since I’ve turned my hand to poetry, but since I’ve been writing such a voracious amount of prose lately, it felt about the right time. I make no promises for its quality, but maybe it’ll ring true with one or two of you.

 

~

 

Depression Is…

 

Night time vision on a sunlit day

The inability to accept proof of reality

Feeling your stomach churn at the sight of happiness

Knowing you’ll die alone

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Incapacity

Sleeping all day when there are things to do

Writing furiously and loathing the outcome

Knowing your life is worthless

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Scars on an arm that you hide from everyone

Wanting to drown in black memory

The past being ever better than the present

Knowing there is nothing yet to come

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Going to work every day, not knowing why

Coming home to mess, and anger, and disappointment

Wanting to forget everything and everyone

Knowing there is no escape…no hope

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Featured image from: http://www.midnight-artwork.com/?attachment_id=237.

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It’s Easter

Happy bunny hunting, everyone!

Bugs_Bunny_by_buster126

 

 

Featured image from http://www.climbingframes.ie/blog/2013/03/26/the-perfect-easter-activity-easter-egg-hunt/.
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