The Toxicity of Revenge Culture

Every time something tragic happens – particularly when it’s heightened by racial tension, like the murder of George Floyd – it seems the worst of humanity comes out of the woodwork. Alongside news of protests, police brutality and burning buildings are countless streams of people – usually white – caught on camera being aggressively racist, inciting or causing violence, and all-round being essentially despicable pieces of human garbage.

It isn’t clear whether this seems to happen more during times of public outrage because racists are fighting what they see as a threat to their way of life, or if it’s just that the rest of us pay more attention at these times, but from calling cops on non-threatening black men to assualting young girls trying to stand up for Black Lives Matter, there has been no end to the instances of hate directed at the people who are trying desperately to fight for their freedom and equality.

The good news, of course, is that in today’s society of smart phones and everywhere-cameras, it’s become increasingly difficult to act like a bigot in public without being caught. And in the instances where these outrageous performances are recorded and uploaded to the internet, they often go viral – a swift dose of karma to the perpetrators.

And karma feels good. It’s undeniably satisfying to see a racist cut down to size; it feels good to watch as someone unbearably proud of their whiteness is ripped apart on social media.

The problem is that this isn’t an answer to racism. It isn’t an answer to intolerance, or bigotry, because the people who were initially the agressors become victims of hate themselves, and even if it feels like they deserve it, many of these people’s lives are destroyed by their acts of intolerance. What happens then is that these people, who clearly believe in their own superiority, don’t learn not to be a bigot; they learn to hide it. They don’t learn to change; they learn instead that they were right all along, and that the people they hated deserve that hate.

Nearly every one of these stories I’ve seen of people abusing others from a delusional position of authority has ended with them losing their jobs, their homes, and at times even their families. Corporate sponsors cut ties, employers fire them, and they’re left with no means to live – and worse, the stain of being branded forever a racist indelible on their reputation.

Now, I’m not advocating that these people ‘deserve’ better; I don’t believe in judging others without knowing them, and an individual act of racism does not a racist make – just like being wrong once doesn’t make you wrong all the time. But what happens is that the internet allows people, from the relative safety of their online anonymity, to pass judgement nonetheless on people they’ve never met and know nothing about.

But what I do believe is that the answer to racism doesn’t lie in avenging the victims, or in destroying the establishment. By taking everything away from someone who made a racist remark or acted out against another person because of their inherently misplaced beliefs, we’re only reinforcing the notion that the ‘others’ are indeed bad people, and that they’ll be punished for speaking out. It fosters a false victim mentality, and breeds a culture that actually causes racism to fester and grow. Rather than looking to themselves to ask why this happened, these people will simply blame the oppressed for oppressing them.

No – the answer to racism lies in education. I believe strongly in the inherent goodness of humanity – the idea that people are good at heart (at least to some degree), and their upbringing and education is what shapes their personalities. As you navigate life, growing older day by day, it’s likely that you’ll end up choosing paths that fit in line with your taught beliefs naturally, which only reinforces those notions and ideas that, for many of us, remain subconscious all our lives. It’s easy to teach a four-year-old to play nice with others; it’s much harder to change the outlook of a forty-year-old.

And some people, of course, are taught so poorly in their childhood, and live a life that so strongly reinforces their negative beliefs, that they quickly become irredeemable. This happens in all walks of life, of course, but since we live in a society that has always favored white men over all others, it allows for those immutable personalities to rise to power more easily than those with more open minds, which allows them to make the rules and define the society we live in to their own liking … leaving room to grow for the systemic racism and misogyny that has rotted the heart of this country for centuries.

But these people – these truly ‘bad apples’ – are generally few and far between. Most people, I think, have the capacity to relearn their world-view in the face of new information, so long as it’s presented in a way that doesn’t uproot everything they’ve ever known. People fear change, and will cling desperately to unfamiliarity. By wreaking revenge on people who are outwardly racist, we’re only causing further damage to the idea of peaceful equality. You can’t build yourself up by tearing others down.

So what I suggest is this: next time you see a story on Facebook or Twitter about a racist being put in their place, ask yourself – am I really so different? Have I never laughed at a racist joke, or worried more about passing through a black neighborhood than a white one? Anyone can say the wrong thing at the wrong time, and whilst many of the acts making the rounds truly are deplorable, who are we to decide their fate? Getting someone fired for poor behavior when they aren’t even working is akin to vigilante justice, which is a dangerous thing to throw around.

I’ve heard it said that racism isn’t black people’s problem – it’s white people’s. In that context, I think it’s as important to listen to the racists as it is to listen to the oppressed. If we actually give everyone a forum to speak intelligently – rather than forcing people into acts of aggression because they feel their voices are unheard – I think there would be a much better opportunity to help those people with racial biases to actually understand themselves better, gain insight, and perhaps – just perhaps – grow and change.

I suppose what I’m really trying to say is that we shouldn’t celebrate vengence on those who would oppress others. That doesn’t make anyone a better person. Instead, we should focus on celebrating those people who are willing and able to change. Celebrate those who can learn to love, not those who have only learned to hate.

Who have you seen grow or change in the past few months? Who can you celebrate?

Thought of the Week: Childhood Stresses

This is a stressful week for Little Satis. As an eleven-year-old in the state of New Jersey, he is about to be subjected to a series of testing known as PARCC (the oh-so-memorable Partnership for Assessment of Readiness for College and Careers). The testing would have started today, but there was a delayed opening at school because of last night’s snow.

Starting tomorrow morning, he will be sitting through hours of assessments and tests in English, mathematics and literacy, to … I guess see how well he’s going to do at college and in his career? Honestly, the point of these tests somewhat eludes me. Perhaps that’s my failing as a parent for not paying attention as much as I should, but I just can’t find it in me to care much about all these tests. I’d rather he go to school and enjoy his time there; after all, what’s the point of education if you hate it?

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The Devil’s Details: F-ing Handwriting

It’s so easy these days to create legible writing using a computer keyboard that it’s easy to let legible handwriting fall by the wayside. I have become such a typist that I can’t actually remember how to write in cursive:

I haven't written in cursive since the fourth grade.

I haven’t written in cursive since the fourth grade.

I did need to write by hand of course throughout school, and when push came to shove I found I could print faster than I could write (cursive). It’s still not anything I’m terribly proud of, but at least I can (mostly) keep it in a straight line:

"This is an example of my handwriting at its neatest." For those who still can't read it.

“This is an example of my handwriting at its neatest.” For those who still can’t read it.

My history exams came out looking a bit like that bottom line. There was a kid in that class who could write ten pages in the time I wrote two…he got an A.

Now Little Satis has been having quite some difficulty forming letters, and his handwriting is difficult to read at its best. If he’s patient and takes his time he can actually write quite well, but he’s eight. The odd thing is how he has learned (or taught himself) to write:

Left: Standard writing direction. Right: Little Satis' writing direction.

Left: Standard writing direction. Right: Little Satis’ writing direction.

Rather than starting at the top, he starts every letter at the bottom, and traces it up from there. This particularly causes problems with descenders, since they too start on the line, and not below it:

"Qountem and the Apocalypse Theif", for those who are struggling.

“Qountem and the Apocalypse Theif”, for those who are struggling. Don’t ask.

However, although his handwriting is in dire need of attention, check out the F:

What a lovely F!

What a lovely F!

Isn’t it pretty? How did that come out of…well, that?