Tag Archives: Despair

The Redemption of Erâth: Slow Progress

I’d wanted to post the next chapter of book three (Ancients and Death) tonight, but unfortunately I’m not quite finished with it yet. I’m about 5,500 words through with it, but there’s still a fair chunk left to write (including a conversation with a warlord, I think). I actually got the best writing done this week on my iPad in the local library, which I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised by; I do tend to get distracted at home.

Once chapter ten is finished, we’ll be leaving Brandyé to his own devices for a bit focusing once more on Elven, who we last saw be appointed as a healer to the court of Kiriün. Over the following five chapters (chapters eleven through fifteen), we’ll see him grow and learn, find love and—I hate to say it—quite possibly suffer loss again. The third part of this book is called Death.

On another note, I was reading part of book two to Little Satis, and I think I’ve come up with a way to bring events forward a little, and make the whole story a little more cohesive, in line with what my editor wanted. It hopefully won’t involve any major rewrites, but will bring things like the Grim Watch into the story sooner. I feel like I’m dreadfully stalling with book two, but I want it to be the best it can possibly be, and I’m worried it’s not there yet.

Anyway, I’ll keep this update short for now, and look for the next chapter of The Redemption of Erâth: Ancients and Death next week! Thanks for reading!

Screen Shot 2015-01-07 at 6.46.37 PM

Tales of Despair: The Day I Fought my Father

I’d like to resurrect an old post thread, Tales of Despair. In the past, I used this topic to discuss works of art and music that were born out of, or inspired by, depression and despair. Tonight, I’d like to use it as an opportunity to talk about my own struggles with depression. I may keep this series going; I may not. I can’t promise it will be interesting, or well-written; I can promise it will be a deeply personal look into what depression has meant—and continues to mean—for me.

I first became depressed in my mid-teens. I don’t recall much of the early days, but one of the contributing factors may have been the lack of control I felt as a child growing up with well-meaning but overbearing parents. I remember a trip to Germany one year, a kind of exchange-student trip, and when I came back, everything was different. Life was empty and meaningless; colors were muted and gray. Music held little joy (this was before I discovered rock and metal).

Continue reading →

The Redemption of Erâth: Stalling

As I sit here in my basement, cold and hungry, four empty mugs sitting on the desk beside me, it occurs to me that I’m doing just about everything I can to not write any more of The Redemption of Erâth: Ancients and Death. I tinkered with this website all morning (do you like it?), updated my status on Facebook and Twitter a bit, watched some of Alexandra Corinth’s book videos (well-worth the watch, by the way), and twiddled my thumbs.

It seems I’m stalling.

I feel depressed about the whole thing (outside of my usual depression). I don’t like where I’m going with the book, which is unfortunate because it all started so promising. Elven was on his own, there were some very disturbing deaths, and he came to a new kingdom and became a part of the country there. I enjoyed the writing, and enjoyed the story. Elỳn’s magic came to the front, and was spectacular.

Continue reading →