Tag Archives: Despair

Thought of the Week: Is There Anything I’m Good At?

It’s starting to look like I suck at DIY. Mrs. Satis and I bought a shelf to put up in a spare room a couple of weeks ago, and so far I haven’t been able to put it up. I can’t even get past the putting holes in the wall part. Look:

Look—they just won't go in all the way!

Look—they just won’t go in all the way!

The instructions said to drill ¼-inch holes, so I did. That’s the biggest drill bit I have, by the way. But the wall plugs (toggles, whatever you want to call them) don’t fit the holes. I went back to Home Depot, and the very friendly assistant recommended a different kind of drywall anchors—supposedly self-screwing, no holes required. I tried those and they broke off in the wall. Great. Now what? I have five holes in a wall, nothing that fits, and a shelf still in pieces.

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I’m Back … And Trying to Stay

Well … well, well, well. Look who’s still around.

I can only offer my sincerest apologies for my prolonged absence of late; I realize it’s been nearly two months without a word, even to say whether I’m still alive. I feel particularly bad, since I was off to such a great start this year; fifty-five posts between the new year and June—more than I posted for the entirety of 2014. And then …

Well, to be honest it seems to have become a bit of a pattern. Last summer was one of my worst, in terms of my mental health and depression, and this summer has been one of my worst in terms of simple motivation. I haven’t gone off my medications (like last year, fool that I am), but nor have I done much of anything creative, for nearly three months now. The Redemption of Erâth hasn’t seen a new word, and this blog has languished.

Being cooped up … led to an absolute loathing of my surroundings.

For what it’s worth, though, I haven’t been entirely idle. Here’s a short list of what I’ve done in the past two months:

  • Listened to a lot of new music, thanks to Apple Music
  • Bought an Apple Watch (totally unnecessary, I know)
  • Cleared my desk
  • Gained a new (thought temporary) position at work
  • Moved house

That last one really kind of took a toll, to my surprise. It turns out that packing everything into boxes, shifting it from one house to another, and then being entirely unable to find anything for the next six months is kind of stressful.

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Thought of the Week: Recognition

I so desperately wanted to go back to bed this morning—snooze for what little time I could before heading to work for the evening. But it’s June now, and I made a commitment, whether I like it or not. So here I am, drinking coffee instead, and struggling to think of what to write. I’m moderately awake, I’m on a new dosage of medication, and I’m trying valiantly to put my excuses behind me.

The thought of writing—or of not writing—always brings with it a measure of guilt.

I actually wrote yesterday; the first advancement on Ancients and Death in many, many weeks. A moderate 500 words, but still—anything is better than nothing. I felt good about it. I may try again tonight, or perhaps even on my lunch (it looks like rain today). I may even complete this beleaguered chapter soon, and post it for the rest of you to read.

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