I’m Back … And Trying to Stay

Well … well, well, well. Look who’s still around.

I can only offer my sincerest apologies for my prolonged absence of late; I realize it’s been nearly two months without a word, even to say whether I’m still alive. I feel particularly bad, since I was off to such a great start this year; fifty-five posts between the new year and June—more than I posted for the entirety of 2014. And then …

Well, to be honest it seems to have become a bit of a pattern. Last summer was one of my worst, in terms of my mental health and depression, and this summer has been one of my worst in terms of simple motivation. I haven’t gone off my medications (like last year, fool that I am), but nor have I done much of anything creative, for nearly three months now. The Redemption of Erâth hasn’t seen a new word, and this blog has languished.

Being cooped up … led to an absolute loathing of my surroundings.

For what it’s worth, though, I haven’t been entirely idle. Here’s a short list of what I’ve done in the past two months:

  • Listened to a lot of new music, thanks to Apple Music
  • Bought an Apple Watch (totally unnecessary, I know)
  • Cleared my desk
  • Gained a new (thought temporary) position at work
  • Moved house

That last one really kind of took a toll, to my surprise. It turns out that packing everything into boxes, shifting it from one house to another, and then being entirely unable to find anything for the next six months is kind of stressful.

However, it led me to thinking, and it occurred to me that I truthfully haven’t felt motivated to write in quite some time—almost a year, now. And it seemed too much of a coincidence that a year ago we moved from a lovely (but small) house into a condo. It was only ever meant to be a temporary move, to accommodate a major career change for Mrs. Satis, but it led me to having my desk set up in a dim, windowless basement. After a while, I’ve come to realize, I simply didn’t want to sit down at my computer at all. I’d play games on my iPhone, or sleep, or … well, anything else at all, really.

And I think what happened is this: I’ve never had my office set up in such a place before. No matter where I’ve worked—I found myself in an outhouse for a while, once—I’ve never been without natural daylight. And I think that’s a big motivator for me. Being cooped up in a cold, dark basement led to an absolute loathing of my surroundings.

My new, clear desk!

My new, clear desk!

But no more. I now have a ground-floor office (wood-paneled, to boot!), with two lovely large windows and plenty of daylight. And for the first time since I can remember, I actually feel like re-approaching my writing. I feel like returning to Erâth, and finding out what’s happening with Brandyé and Elven. I feel like getting book two published. I feel like work, again.

I can’t say whether this feeling will last, but I have high hopes that my new workplace will make a difference. And so here I am, back at last—hopefully to stay.

Fingers crossed.

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