I am a sociopathic entity.

 ~

~

A channel for the thoughts and words

that are not mine,

and leave no trace.

 ~

A conscious with a conscience.

 ~

A vessel for the inconsequential,

detrital components

of a human society

beyond the grasp of redemption.

 ~

 ~

 ~

Disconnection

between sight

and mind,

hand and thought;

weeping utterly fails

to bear me any relevance,

and my laughter is a mocking shadow –

a chameleonic parody

of the insensate culture

that bore and  now surrounds me.

 ~

 ~

The concept of meaning,

the thought of another’s

thought

– life –

these things a ghost of recollection,

a memory too threadbare to discern.

 ~

I see living, breathing shells,

hosts of emptiness,

pass around me and out of sight;

I cower into corners

and smile convincingly out of the dark.

~

 ~

My weaknesses in flesh

and state of mind

collapse in on me,

and my beliefs

and confidence

and surety of sanity

collapse in on me,

and my negligible awareness

of the matters that go on all around

and mean so much

to such smallness in the eagerly oblivious minds here and there;

collapses, too,

and I long feebly to withdraw

into the self-contained (centred) safety of black,

but cannot.

 ~

 ~

I am incapable of passion,

of emotion,

of sympathy and empathy,

of deviltry

or constancy.

 ~

Love, life, lust,

anguish – all rust.

Alien tongue,

and distasteful in my mouth.

 ~

 ~

 ~

 ~

Watch me stare

don’t blink;

I am a sociopathic (non)entity,

and I am ruinous.

~