Thought of the Week: I’m Ack-Basswards, Apparently

In all my many moonless nights spent writing and posting and staring at the empty hit counter, I’ve always secretly desired to be as famous as every other blogger in the world, since they all get more hits than I do. My biggest spike in followers came the day WordPress thought my Facebook friends counted, completely misunderstanding their literary interests (though I doubt they were asked).

Little did I know that all it took was a little versatility. I had to look the word up just to be sure, when Jennifer Bresnick included me in her list of fifteen blogs she checks every once in a while (after a stiff double Jack to recover). Apparently, it seems I am thought to be versatile (though her own thoughts on the accolade seem somewhat dubious):

Versatile: 1 – Able to adapt or be adapted to many different functions or activities. 2 – Changeable; inconstant

The root of the word comes from the Latin vertere, to turn. Now let’s think about this for a moment, because my suitability for this commendation may largely depend on our interpretation. Regarding change – I don’t like it. At least, not when it involves other people’s changes. Personally, I change an awful lot, usually from grumpy to dour to cynical and back to grumpy again. Highly inconstant, and it rather bothers people.

I also turn. I turn left a lot; sometimes I also turn right. I turn in at night, and turn up for meetings. I turn taps, dials and knobs, and the volume control in my car. I won’t turn leaves, though, in case one of them is new. That’s why I only read second-hand books or digital books, which don’t have pages (iBooks does, but don’t tell anyone).

Adaptable, though…I’d never really considered it before. I don’t generally tend to think about adapting, mostly because the world adapts around me. It’s a funny thing, really; everywhere I go I fit in perfectly, even if no one likes me and they don’t have long hair. It’s an awkward word, really, and confuses me:

Adapt: 1 – make suitable for a new use or purpose; modify. 2 – become adjusted to new conditions. 3 – alter a text to make it suitable for filming, broadcast or the stage

I could probably be repurposed as a hammer, or maybe a player piano. If I could, I’d see if I could be Anthony Hopkins, but I don’t think he’s done being Anthony Hopkins yet. I don’t adjust to new conditions – see above. And I really don’t think I’d make a very good movie.

It’s starting to look like I’m possibly not all that versatile at all. I’ve written about a few different things, from my neighbor’s garbage to the fallacy of American Idol, but I think I kind of write them all in the same way, which is to say not all that well. I could certainly try to be more diverse; after all, with something like 100,000 nouns about which to write, I certainly can’t run out of topics. I might run out of patience, however (I could write about that last).

Could I try to write in a different style? According to I Write Like, I’m a Tolkien/Tolstoy mutt. Maybe I could throw some Dan Brown and Kafka into the mix as well, but I think it’d become a little depressing.

So having thought about it, thank you, but I just don’t know if I’m cut out for this Versatile Blogger Award. Perhaps I can give to other people instead. They can keep it, if they like. If not, they could pass it on as well. Actually, if you apply some vampire logic to this, if every person infected with the Versatile Blogger Award passed it on to fifteen other bloggers, all of WordPress would succumb within five days. I suppose that would be the ultimate versatility – one, giant blogger that writes on every subject imaginable. But then, how come it took so long to get to me?

Versatile Blogger Award: 1 – A green square that heralds great fame. 2 – The blogging equivalent of an ‘I’m Too Sexy’ t-shirt. 3 – A piece of harmless fluff that most people spurn, but kind of makes them feel all warm inside at the same time


Ashley Jillian

Caeruleus Aether

Catharsis of Creativity

ck’s days

Fabulous Realms

Looking for Pemberley

Looser or Not

My Body the City: The Secret Life of a Manhattan Call Girl

Nick Rolynd

Not Quite Dead Yet

Storytelling Nomad

The Writing Desk

(If anyone noticed, these are the same links at the bottom of every page on my website, ’cause these people are cool.)


And, if you really, really want to know seven things about me…

  1. I wear my wedding ring on my right hand, but not because I’m Russian.
  2. I got very angry at Teavana when they didn’t have Lapsang Souchang.
  3. I’ve lived in three different countries (but not at the same time).
  4. When I was eighteen I cracked my skull on a doorframe, and my dad stitched it up with a sewing needle because he didn’t want to drive to the emergency room. He used Listerine for antiseptic.
  5. Our son is named after a character from Star Trek.
  6. I continue to hit my head on things, but won’t let my dad near me with a sewing kit.
  7. I consider myself something of a Vodka connoisseur, which isn’t really something to be all that proud of.

15 thoughts on “Thought of the Week: I’m Ack-Basswards, Apparently

  1. Don’t worry about the hit counter. Nobody really read me until way into my second month. It’s very weird how these things work. I think what happens is you write a really great 5th or 6th blog post that really resonates with people and then your reader will go backhand read all the other ones liking every one. That’s what I do. Also, I follow everyone that follows me. That helps a lot. Never forget to hit the old like button! When you do, the blogger knows it and will sometimes be curious about the person who liked them. I like your blog, so keep up the good work. Plus, I don’t put a lot of stock in the award nominations. It’s nice and all, but I liken it to one of those chain emails where if you don’t send the email to ten other unsuspecting folks all the kittens in the world will explode!

    • I was kind of tempted by the exploding kittens, but then I thought about all the lolcatz and just couldn’t bring myself to do it. This was sort of my underhanded way of saying I’m actually quite touched that someone liked my blog enough to include it! I think the awards are pretty funny; I’ve seen a sunshine one too (I’m very much hoping to avoid that one!). I have indeed found that the best way to get people to read your blog is to read theirs; I just have trouble finding the time. But hey – that’s how I found yours!

  2. Oh, and since you brought it up, what’s your sons name? I am deeply engrossed in the trek world and an curious as to where you fall in that category.

    • Thanks for the vote of confidence! I didn’t really start this blog in order to get a whole lot of readers, so to be honest the number of people who’ve enjoyed it so far is pretty impressive to me!

  3. If anyone had truly doubted your versatility, your humorous denial of possessing the trait is proof enough! 😉 Cheers! And well-earned. 🙂

  4. ah blogger awards! Don’t break the chain or you might get bad luck!
    Looking at it mathematically, after eleven generations of the chain, 19,773,267,437 people will have an award!
    Still, you should listen to the voices and keep writing-they know best.

    • I must admit, my hit count went up a little (5 hits a day to 10!) after this post, so maybe there’s something to it!

      Thanks for stopping by!

      • I’m a big believer in doing something completely off the wall and unexpected every few months just to keep things interesting and spike viewership. And just make sure you’re hitting that like button on other peoples blogs. Trust me, it helps.

    • You’re more than welcome, and thank YOU! I loved your descriptions of your travels in Europe last year, and I can’t wait for your next major excursion (whenever it happens to be!).

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