Tag Archives: Depression

The Redemption of Erâth: Stalling

As I sit here in my basement, cold and hungry, four empty mugs sitting on the desk beside me, it occurs to me that I’m doing just about everything I can to not write any more of The Redemption of Erâth: Ancients and Death. I tinkered with this website all morning (do you like it?), updated my status on Facebook and Twitter a bit, watched some of Alexandra Corinth’s book videos (well-worth the watch, by the way), and twiddled my thumbs.

It seems I’m stalling.

I feel depressed about the whole thing (outside of my usual depression). I don’t like where I’m going with the book, which is unfortunate because it all started so promising. Elven was on his own, there were some very disturbing deaths, and he came to a new kingdom and became a part of the country there. I enjoyed the writing, and enjoyed the story. Elỳn’s magic came to the front, and was spectacular.

Continue reading →

Music I Love: “The Days of Grays”, Sonata Arctica (2009)

Don’t forget, you can be reading your copy of The Redemption of Erâth: Consolation in just a few minutes for only $3.99! Click here to buy.

***

Track Listing:

  1. Everything Fades to Gray (Instrumental)
  2. Deathaura
  3. The Last Amazing Grays
  4. Flag in the Ground
  5. Breathing
  6. Zeroes
  7. The Dead Skin
  8. Juliet
  9. No Dream Can Heal a Broken Heart
  10. As If the World Wasn’t Ending
  11. The Truth Is Out There
  12. Everything Fades to Gray (Full Version)

 

Sonata Arctica are one of Finland’s finest metal exports, having released increasingly complex and progressive albums since their 1999 debut, Ecliptica. Although their origins are firmly rooted in Scandinavian power metal (their first few albums are strongly reminiscent of fellow Finns Stratovarius), their music has become much more refined over the years, with last year’s release Pariah’s Child having only a few tracks that could truly be called ‘power metal’.

Sonata Arctica’s breakthrough album was their sophomore effort, Silence (2001), a sprawling 15-track epic that at times harkens to their influences in 70s and 80s power rock such as Scorpions. They followed this with Winterheart’s Guild (2003) and Reckoning Night (2004), but it was with their fifth album, Unia (2007), that their style truly matured into something unique and different from the many other power metal bands around them. Losing the blastbeats and double kick drums, Unia saw more sophisticated songwriting and album planning (the songs flow beautifully one into another), and although they reintroduced some of the power metal influences with The Days of Grays in 2009, this more progressive style has remained with them ever since.

The Days of Grays is one of their most important albums for me, because it was largely the soundtrack to The Redemption of Erâth: Consolation when I was first writing it. I immediately fell in love with the haunting and sad introduction Everything Fades to Gray, and the forbidden love story of Deathaura echoes the unspoken love between Brandyé and Sonora (in my mind, anyway). However, it’s the third track, The Last Amazing Grays, that truly stands out for me as a song that speaks for everything in Consolation, with its reminders that everything is doomed to fade and die eventually:

“I feel the time is catching up with us

How many days until its hunger is satisfied

Living the final golden days, we are the last Amazing Grays

Hoping the young will lead the pack now”

Sonata Arctica, The Last Amazing Grays (2009)

I played this song endlessly on repeat whilst writing the death scenes in The Redemption of Erâth: Consolation, and it probably explains the tears when they died (don’t want to spoil too much if you haven’t read it yet!).

Other standout tracks include Flag in the Ground, an epic tale of adventure and freedom (the most ‘power metal’ song of the album, and the most upbeat, too), and Juliet, the third part of a series of songs started with The End of this Chapter on their second album, Silence. As If the World Wasn’t Ending and The Truth Is Out There lead into the dismal finale, a reprise of the opening track, but this time with vocals and a majestic, hope-dashing conclusion.

Sonata Arctica followed this album with 2012’s Stones Grow Her Name and last year’s Pariah’s Child, which though both excellent albums, don’t quite match the grandeur and sadness of The Days of Grays. If anything their style has become slightly poppier and a little more upbeat, which isn’t always to my miserable taste. If you were looking to get into Sonata Arctica for the first time, you could do worse than to listen to this album.

 

Thought of the Week: What Makes Me Happy (?)

A very good friend of mine recently posted on Facebook, stating that he was going to rant about something, but decided instead to list things that make him happy.

I thought this was very clever. You see, as someone who suffers from some form of major depressive disorder (bipolar, unipolar depression … something like that), I don’t often take the time to think about things that make me happy. I tend to operate more on a guilt/shame line of feelings; I could endlessly list things that make me feel bad about myself. And when I stopped to think about it, I realized that I couldn’t, off the top of my head, come up with anything.

Which is sort of a shame, really.

What makes me happy? I thought. Do puppies make me happy? Not really. What about kittens? I like them, but they make me sneeze. Good music? Too much butter on toast? Little children using words they don’t understand? All sorts of things come to mind that, perhaps, ought to make me happy, but I can’t be entirely certain any of them actually do.

Then it occurred to me that although not everything makes me happy, there certainly are things that, if nothing else, help me appreciate the world a little more each day. Things that renew my faith in humanity, or inspire me to continue when things are at their bleakest. And to return the favor to my friend for inspiring this post, here is a list of ten things that, if not make me happy, at least make me appreciate life a little more than usual:

1. When Little Satis asks me to read to him at night.

Reading

There’s something awfully rewarding not only about reading to your child, but them actually wanting to be read to. Even better when it’s your own story they want you to read!

2. Talented people who don’t take themselves too seriously.

_73332750_cumberbomb

There’s something unparallelably adorable about Benedict Cumberbatch. Plus, he’s a freaking dragon!

3. Clever rhyme schemes.

Still

Running uphill

Swimming against the current

I wish I weren’t

So fucked

Feels like I’m stuck

Lost in a sea

Of mediocrity

—Dream Theater, As I Am (Train of Thought, 2003)

Dream Theater’s lyrics are not always so clever, but this particular line often gets stuck in my head (possibly because it often reflects my own internal monologue).

4. Graphs and charts.

decline

XKCD have some of the most marvelous and insightful graphs in the comic universe.

5. Typing the last word of a novel.

This is something I’ve done precisely twice. Those words are “laughed” and “spoke”, respectively.

Just realized they’re both past-tense verbs pertaining to speech. Perhaps the last word of Ancients and Death should be “giggled”.

6. Those months when you get paid three times.

roll-of-money

Those of you on monthly salaries might not understand this, but when you get paid fortnightly, every so often there’s a month with three paydays. It’s like winning the lottery!

7. Really nice islay single malt scotch whiskey.

Bottle-Shots-064

Not something I have all that often, but there’s something irresistible about the earthy, peaty flavor of a really nice single malt scotch. Those extra paydays help.

8. Browsing through independent record stores.

record collector

This is Record Collector, one of my favorite independent record stores. It’s in Sheffield, England, and I stopped in during our recent trip. My favorite thing is to buy a CD or record with an interesting cover by an artist I’ve never heard of and see what it’s like. It’s a shame there are so few of these wonderful shops left.

9. Mince pies.

mince-pie_2739967b

Basically, it’s not Christmas without mince pies. End of story.

10. Lists.

bucket-list

I’m rather fond of lists—wish lists, in particular. I have a rather extensive list of albums and movies I want to listen to and see. I also keep an ongoing shopping list on my iPhone with probably around 200 items on it at any given moment. Not sure what the point of that is, actually.

11. (Bonus) High-resolution stock photography.

Broken camera

It may be slightly ironic that I took this high-res photo from an article about not taking photos from websites, but … I am linking to it (click above).

Featured image from http://www.huffingtonpost.com/mike-sheridan/the-life-you-want_b_6044498.html.

Screen Shot 2015-01-07 at 6.46.37 PM